Connecticut

Obviously this blog is all about me and kind of what goes on in my life, but I try to not get super personal. That is going to change with this post. I have been feeling a lot of emotions the last few days and I am sure that some of you can guess why. Here it goes....

Thursday night I had a dream like most other nights about school and my students. This particular night I had a dream that one of my students brought a knife to school and stabbed a bunch of kids in my class including me. I should say that I work in a tough area where this is not totally out of the question of ever happening. Although no one ever really expects it. This little girl that was so violent in my dream is also one that most days she goes into a fit screaming she wants to kill herself or someone that made her mad at that moment, whether it was me or someone in the class. I am talking like, her not getting her way every moment of every day is what upsets her. When she doesn't get what she wants it is all out tantrums, and yes I deal with this everyday.

Anyway going into my day Friday I was not all that excited because of this dream. The day went fine though because it was Friday and a short day. But we  finished and I am in the copy room and a kindergarten teacher walks in and tells me what just happened in Connecticut. Instant sadness washed over me as I cannot imagine what that must have been like. I went back to my classroom and sat down at my desk looking out at all 21 little empty desks sitting in front of me. I cried. I cried for the small children who lost their lives. I cried for parents who had no idea their children would not come home that day. I cried for the teachers in the school that were murdered. I cried for those that lived and how this is going to affect them. I cried for the son of a teacher who had such violent tendencies, that this to him was the only option. I smiled a little bit knowing that my students were all going home safe that day. I smiled that I remembered to tell them I loved them before they left. I smiled at the hugs and high fives I received as they walked out the door. 

I cannot say I knew what it was like for them, but it was easier to imagine what happened as I picture my own class and what would I do in that situation. I can honestly say that I have no idea. What would I do with 21 children in a classroom surrounded with windows. What would I say to them as they hear gunshots ring through the halls. How would I calm their worried minds. How would I stay calm enough to keep a clear head. Again I do not know. But everyday I tell my students in the morning that it is my job to keep them safe and I am committed to doing just that. Whether it is a student with a knife in the classroom, a crazy man with a gun, or even just students running around the room. I send them home each night and pray that they are safe in their homes, that is not a place I can keep them safe. Hopefully parents are doing that, even though I can name children in my class that probably don't have the safest home life.

I am deeply saddened each time I stop and think about what happened, but I have a greater knowledge that some people don't have. And that is of the plan of salvation. I know where I was before I came to this earth and I know where I am going when I die. I know where all 27 of those people are. I know whose arms were wide open waiting to greet them, Jesus Christ. I know that God has a plan for each of us and for some our plan is to spend more time on the earth to learn and grow. For some just a short time is needed before God needs up back to help Him. Part of the plan for all those children was that they would return to Him at a young age. We do not know why, but I find comfort in knowing that they are in a great place now with a loving Heavenly Father.

People may fight and argue all they want putting blame on different people of groups. But in the end it was the agency used by one man who caused all the pain and suffering. The gift of agency was given to all of us as we came to earth, it was the greatest gift we could receive. My prayer is that we do not get so wrapped up in the blame game or hatred and hold that in your heart.

While the government may put every law against me in using religion in the classroom I will respect that law a teacher. But as a person that does not mean I cannot keep a prayer in my heart and mind each and everyday for each and everyone of my students. I pray for them daily and pray for my teaching abilities. I pray to see the good in each person and the good in each day. I pray to be strengthened in troubled times. I can show that they are loved by the Savior through me. These are the things they cannot control in my life or in my classroom.

Twas' 11 days before Christmas, around 9:38
when 20 beautiful children stormed through heaven's gate.
their smiles were contagious, their laughter filled the air.
they could hardly believe all the beauty they saw there.

they were filled with such joy, they didn't know what to say.
they remembered nothing of what had happened earlier that day.
"where are we?" asked a little girl, as quiet as a mouse.
"this is heaven." declared a small boy. "we're spending Christmas at God's house."
when what to their wondering eyes did appear,
but Jesus, their savior, the children gathered near.
He looked at them and smiled, and they smiled just the same.
then He opened His arms and He called them by name.
and in that moment was joy, that only heaven can bring
those children all flew into the arms of their King
and as they lingered in the warmth of His embrace,
one small girl turned and looked at Jesus' face.
and as if He could read all the questions she had
He gently whispered to her, "I'll take care of mom and dad."
then He looked down on earth, the world far below
He saw all of the hurt, the sorrow, and woe
then He closed His eyes and He outstretched His hand,
"Let My power and presence re-enter this land!"
"may this country be delivered from the hands of fools"
"I'm taking back my nation. I'm taking back my schools!"
then He and the children stood up without a sound.
"come now my children, let me show you around."
excitement filled the space, some skipped and some ran.
all displaying enthusiasm that only a small child can.
and i heard Him proclaim as He walked out of sight,
"in the midst of this darkness, I AM STILL THE LIGHT."

To all those that lost their lives, God bless the families and friends. 12-14-12

Temple Square

Meagan, Katie, Jeff and I got to attend the Christmas Devotional at the conference center and it was amazing!

Then we went and walked around temple square looking at all the wonderful Christmas lights! This is my favorite thing about Utah in the winter!

This is in the middle of downtown. I don't understand.

The Macy's at City Creek made the ZCMI candy displays in Salt Lake. This was my favorite.

It looks like there is a 3 story tree in the house and I LOVE IT!

These are 2 of the greatest friends I have made moving to Utah! Thanks for being great friends Katie and Meagan.

Festival of Trees

 There is a huge expo center near South Jordan and my friend Katie loves going to the festival of trees every year. A couple of us went with her and it was a lot of fun. Most of the trees come with a story from Children's hospital. Some are real tear jerkers and you have to be careful about which stories you choose to read. These are just a few of the 700 we looked at...

RED SOLO CUP :)

 To help benefit the hospital, you can buy the trees and this was one that hadn't been purchased yet and I loved it so much I almost spent the $200 to buy it..it was for a good cause.

 Kind of a sad excuse for a steelers tree especially since whoever made it also made it a Bronco's tree! Who does that?!

This was definitely the story on the tree that made us tear up the most. A family was in Hawaii vacationing and one night their new son suffered from SIDS. When they woke up they found him dead. The Hawaiian people came together for a family they didn't know and did so much for the family at that hard time in their life.  The family who lost their made and decorated this tree in honor of the good people in Hawaii that helped them get through their hard time. I love the good people in the world!

 These are obviously not tress, but I do love this sign!

This was just for mom, as her next idea if she were to make me another quilt someday! I love love love the stars!

Thanksgiving

 I never had time to write about my Thanksgiving. I really miss being home with my family but luckily I live in the days of technology. For whatever reason my sound wasn't working on my computer so while I skyped my family on the computer we were talking over the phone. Usually we talk for a little while as the whole family gets a chance to say hi and I catch them up on my life and then they go eat together. This year they invited me to dinner with them! I got to sit at the head of the table (the window) and be there with them. It was nice because I was able to just sit and listen to their conversation and laugh with them. We exchanged some corny Thanksgiving jokes, sang Happy Birthday to Molly, and watched Pittsburgh Dad.

Sorry family there was never a time someone was not eating or grabbing for more food!

 Happy Birthday Molly!

It was the best Thanksgiving since I have been home with them! I cannot wait for Christmas for this to be happening again, but with me their this time! Prepare yourselves family! :)

Student Update

Sometimes I am really frustrated still with my students because they can be such brats. But I had my first student move away with no warning. I felt so sad that he was no longer going to be coming to my class anymore. Then it happened again with another little move who already moved once this year. These kids need stable homes and places to go home to that is constant. So many of them don't have good homes to begin with. So on the rug today I had all my children sit down and I told them how much I actually did care for them and like them. I had just been gone away to trainings for 2 days so they were really happy to have me back. Just in case tomorrow another one decided to move away without telling me.

A child leaving the classroom the other day said, "goodbye ya old woman!" "Just so you know I am the youngest teacher in this school!" "You mean they get older than YOU?" HAHA I was busting out laughing

Me telling my children  I won't be going home to Pittsburgh for Thanksgiving. 2 days later we were painting turkeys and a boy came up to me with 3 other boys. He had painted his feathers black and yellow. They showed it to me and all started singing black and yellow! I busted out laughing.

I am going to keep this one all positive about my class, because there are things still happening that are frustrating and interesting but I will save those for another day. Many days these are the small things I have to remember because a lot of my children are very frustrating but I do love them and I really knew that when I started losing them.

NICOLE!!

 Once upon a time I was alone for a weekend so Nicole came up to South Jordan to visit me! It was really exciting news for me because I love her. She is a friend I have had since about the age of 7 or 8. We went to church together and then moved out west to go to college and now both of us live here for now. I love when I get to see her, she is married now so sometimes I think I don't see her as much but it is probably the same.

Anyway I made a list of things for us to do so that we weren't just sitting around and we did really well with the list. ..

 Make fresh squeezed lemonade...check! so yummy and I think Nicole wants one of these now :)

 Go to Ikea and pick up the missing bed piece, then play Skipbo while waiting for the mattress to be delivered, then making the bed!

 We then ate lots of leftovers, sat and chatted about life, went to Hobby Lobby to buy 50% off ornaments and painted them.

 Nicole copied mine but that's okay hers turned out better, then Jeremey had his own ideas......

 This was pinterest inspired. Paint your hand white and press on the ornaments creating almost perfect snowmen. Really only my middle finger worked, the other 2 I had to paint over to fix.

 Jeremy's flamin' heart! So awesome!

I would just like to add that Nicole is one of my most avid blog readers and she gets way excited when she finds new things to read on here...so this one goes out to you Nicole Ellis!

Sports

I feel like I have always enjoyed being active and playing sports. I started with the typical little girl and did the tap dance and jazz dance. But that was not for me. Then I remember moving and trying out gymnastics. That also did not last long. Then came soccer, t-ball, and swimming. I did each for a year or two and then quit. T-ball eventually lad into softball, and after taking a few years hiatus from swimming I returned again. I also tried out basketball and really hated that. For years the swimming and softball would stick with me all the way until I graduated high school. I even swam a little bit in college. I loved hockey but stuck to watching and not really playing, I would play floor hockey in the basement or in the winter on the ice rink. I loved going to games and being my brothers biggest fans. Junior and senior year of high school I played on the powder puff teams, one year tying and the second year winning. Like I said I love being involved and active. These so far are all pretty much team sports and does not include all the games of pickle, wiffle ball, frisbee, bag-o and so on that went on in the big backyard.

I always feel better when I am being active and since moving to Utah I have become active again. Lately I have helped play on a friends flag football team, ward volleyball, lots of frisbee in the summer, and also softball games during the summer as well. It feels good to be so involved, except volleyball lately has taken its toll on me. I have never been seriously injured in all my years of sports, just the occasional bruises and bumps and scraps. These recent volleyball games have taken there toll on my legs though.  Right before our tournament I decided I needed knee pads and they helped, but when I took them off after 5 hours they sure were bloody!

I moved!

I MOVED to a new house! There are some great ladies in my ward that needed a new roommate and they choose me! Well actually I bought my bed and set it up the week before so that I did not have to deal with it the next weekend. I would like to say that I felt very very grownup buying my own bed and it is a queen so I feel like it is a big girl bed too. I wished my dad was here to help me put it together, but he taught me so well in how to build things that I knew I would do okay. I will say that I only messed up once where I out on of the sides on the wrong way and had to take out like 16 screws to fix it, that was a little frustrating!

 I'm almost there, but man my arms were getting tired!

Woot Woot I am done!

Then I bought a mattress on black Friday for a super good deal. The store opened at 8 and since I had already been out shopping for a few hours it was perfect timing. It was a door buster deal so I made sure I was there and lined up outside before they opened and I was the only one! I really was only outside 1 minute early but it made the lady chuckle. I went in tried it out and decided that it would do for me. My friend Katie was with me and she was real supportive of my decision. We were talking about how grown I was being. On my way to check out I just wanted to test some of the beds out that were super expensive because I knew they would be like heaven and they were! The lady asked if we would do her a favor, she asked if we would jump on one of the beds for her!? Say what! So we jumped on a temperpedic kind to see if we could knock over the wine glass. And just for doing that they donated $10 to a cancer society, how cool! But while we were jumping I said to Katie that I didn't feel as grown up anymore jumping on beds in a mattress store :)

I don;t think my friends were real excited going mattress shipping with me at first but I think in the end they really enjoyed it!

I am just throwing this picture in to show what my jeep looked like after Black Friday shopping, and that's without the mattress set! We got some real great deals! My bedding, sheets, and pillows were some of them.

 Once my mattresses were delivered I put to good use all the things I bought! Thanks Nicole for your help with this :)

Project number 2 was getting these shelves and putting them together so that my room was not so empty. I really love them and was successful in putting them together with only one mishap!

 I would just like to say that I am impressed with myself because everything I own (except the bed) fit in the jeep to drive over to my new house!

 Changes are hard and I will miss the Lingard's, they have been so good to me, but I am excited for my new adventures here in the firmont house!