This week a lot of people have been telling me that I should write a book. Well I don't think it would be a best seller but it would be very enlightening into the world of teaching from my perspective and also humorous to everyone who doesn't have to put up with what I do everyday.
Instead of writing a book I will stick to telling all about it on my wonderful blog...
If you don't already know I teach 22 very energetic 1st graders. Now this is my first year teaching and was not exactly sure what to expect, but it was not this. Let me first preface by saying that I teach in a Title 1 school which means that most of my school is made up of low-income families. Also we have a very high percentage of Hispanics and Pacific Islanders, I do not say this to be racist or anything just pointing out the demographics of the area.
1. Parent Conferences- most of my parents only speak Spanish and therefore were translated by my first graders...yeah I wonder what they really told their parents.
2. Dad at parent conferences asking for my number...I said no
3. Dad asking if we can be friends on Facebook...I said no
4. Dad asking for my email...I said only if your emails are about your daughter
5. Kid who poops in my room 8 times in 8 different spots before someone notices
6. Reporting possible abuse
7. Poop happened again, this time only in one sport
8. Free IPad...whoops dropped and shattered that one
9. Total crazy lady as your substitute who leaves her hairbrush, book, and open can of pop all on my desk
10. Kids who can make the strangest noises with their mouths in the middle of every lesson
10. Boy crying because someone touched his chair (while he was not in it)
11. Boy crying because someone leaned over his desk
12. Boy crying because someone said good morning to him before they said hello
13. Boy crying because someone said that he didn't want his eraser, but he did
14. Boy crying because he ran into a door
15. Boy crying because he folder accidentally was folded
( YES THIS IS THE SAME BOY!)
16. Girl crying because she doesn't know what page we are on
17. Girl crying because she can't blow a bubble with bubble gum
18. Girl crying because she didn't have time to finish a project (which I told her she could finish it the next day)
19. Girl crying because her picture was not hung up outside (apparently now she didnt care if it was finished or not)
20. Girl crying because she has a woodchip in her shoe
21. Girl crying because the point on her pencil broke
22. Girl crying because kids in the class called her a crybaby (It took all I had not to tell her it was because she is a crybaby) ((And YES it is all the SAME GIRL))
23. It is not my kid, you are just not old enough to be a real teacher.
24. Boy throwing chairs at me
25.Boy throwing a book in my face
26.Boy whose favorite spot in my class is under tables
27. Boy who destroyed my room because he wasn't chosen to lead a game
28. Boy who would yell in my face one second and the next hold my hand and never want to let go
29. Boy who like to flood the bathroom everyday by holding down the flusher
30. Boy who knows how to pout and is more stubborn than ANYONE I have ever met.
31. Girl crying because she made a best friend with a worm and some kids
stepped on it (the crying has gone on for almost 2 weeks now)
32. Girl who hides under desks and bites her hands when she doesn't want to go somewhere
33. Girl who hits herself in the head for attention
34. Girl who can stomp down the hall louder than anyone I have ever heard
35. Girl who can turn on the tears quicker that anyone I have ever known
36. Girl who tap dances during the middle of a lesson
37. Girl who loves to sing random songs during a lesson
38. Girl who can't handle coming in from recess without tears
39. I am looking for words that start with the /p/ sound? party, pig, plan, pizza, panda, peso, paw, purple, pan, pat, pin, oh and pulsating! Me: do you know what that means? Kid: yes it means your heart is beating and pulsating blood throughout the veins in your body so you can live, it is the beating you feel when you put your hand over your heart. Me: (mouth hanging open) yep
40. tying shoes 1,000 times a day
41. giving out approximately 12 bandaides a day
42. wiping away tears and blood
43. cleaning up bodily fluids and solids
44. picking wood chips out of hair
45. doing a happy dance when the kiddos actaully follow directions (they really enjoy seeing this)
46. putting in hair clips and headbands
47. zipping jackets and pulling off hoods in school
I walk and I talk all day. This is not a job for the WEAK. You lose your voice...to bad you must keep talking and discover ways so the kids and still hear you (talking in a very low voice works and is very entertaining) People may go to school to be teachers but the test comes to see if you can make it through the first 3 years without swearing to yourself you are never ever doing that again.
These are not the things they list on the job description when you go in for interviews but listen people this is real life, I COULDN'T"T MAKE UP THIS KIND OF STUFF!