Thursday night I had a dream like most other nights about school and my students. This particular night I had a dream that one of my students brought a knife to school and stabbed a bunch of kids in my class including me. I should say that I work in a tough area where this is not totally out of the question of ever happening. Although no one ever really expects it. This little girl that was so violent in my dream is also one that most days she goes into a fit screaming she wants to kill herself or someone that made her mad at that moment, whether it was me or someone in the class. I am talking like, her not getting her way every moment of every day is what upsets her. When she doesn't get what she wants it is all out tantrums, and yes I deal with this everyday.
Anyway going into my day Friday I was not all that excited because of this dream. The day went fine though because it was Friday and a short day. But we finished and I am in the copy room and a kindergarten teacher walks in and tells me what just happened in Connecticut. Instant sadness washed over me as I cannot imagine what that must have been like. I went back to my classroom and sat down at my desk looking out at all 21 little empty desks sitting in front of me. I cried. I cried for the small children who lost their lives. I cried for parents who had no idea their children would not come home that day. I cried for the teachers in the school that were murdered. I cried for those that lived and how this is going to affect them. I cried for the son of a teacher who had such violent tendencies, that this to him was the only option. I smiled a little bit knowing that my students were all going home safe that day. I smiled that I remembered to tell them I loved them before they left. I smiled at the hugs and high fives I received as they walked out the door.
I cannot say I knew what it was like for them, but it was easier to imagine what happened as I picture my own class and what would I do in that situation. I can honestly say that I have no idea. What would I do with 21 children in a classroom surrounded with windows. What would I say to them as they hear gunshots ring through the halls. How would I calm their worried minds. How would I stay calm enough to keep a clear head. Again I do not know. But everyday I tell my students in the morning that it is my job to keep them safe and I am committed to doing just that. Whether it is a student with a knife in the classroom, a crazy man with a gun, or even just students running around the room. I send them home each night and pray that they are safe in their homes, that is not a place I can keep them safe. Hopefully parents are doing that, even though I can name children in my class that probably don't have the safest home life.
I am deeply saddened each time I stop and think about what happened, but I have a greater knowledge that some people don't have. And that is of the plan of salvation. I know where I was before I came to this earth and I know where I am going when I die. I know where all 27 of those people are. I know whose arms were wide open waiting to greet them, Jesus Christ. I know that God has a plan for each of us and for some our plan is to spend more time on the earth to learn and grow. For some just a short time is needed before God needs up back to help Him. Part of the plan for all those children was that they would return to Him at a young age. We do not know why, but I find comfort in knowing that they are in a great place now with a loving Heavenly Father.
People may fight and argue all they want putting blame on different people of groups. But in the end it was the agency used by one man who caused all the pain and suffering. The gift of agency was given to all of us as we came to earth, it was the greatest gift we could receive. My prayer is that we do not get so wrapped up in the blame game or hatred and hold that in your heart.
While the government may put every law against me in using religion in the classroom I will respect that law a teacher. But as a person that does not mean I cannot keep a prayer in my heart and mind each and everyday for each and everyone of my students. I pray for them daily and pray for my teaching abilities. I pray to see the good in each person and the good in each day. I pray to be strengthened in troubled times. I can show that they are loved by the Savior through me. These are the things they cannot control in my life or in my classroom.
Twas' 11 days before Christmas, around 9:38
when 20 beautiful children stormed through heaven's gate.
their smiles were contagious, their laughter filled the air.
they could hardly believe all the beauty they saw there.
when 20 beautiful children stormed through heaven's gate.
their smiles were contagious, their laughter filled the air.
they could hardly believe all the beauty they saw there.
they were filled with such joy, they didn't know what to say.
they remembered nothing of what had happened earlier that day.
"where are we?" asked a little girl, as quiet as a mouse.
"this is heaven." declared a small boy. "we're spending Christmas at God's house."
when what to their wondering eyes did appear,
but Jesus, their savior, the children gathered near.
He looked at them and smiled, and they smiled just the same.
then He opened His arms and He called them by name.
and in that moment was joy, that only heaven can bring
those children all flew into the arms of their King
and as they lingered in the warmth of His embrace,
one small girl turned and looked at Jesus' face.
and as if He could read all the questions she had
He gently whispered to her, "I'll take care of mom and dad."
then He looked down on earth, the world far below
He saw all of the hurt, the sorrow, and woe
then He closed His eyes and He outstretched His hand,
"Let My power and presence re-enter this land!"
"may this country be delivered from the hands of fools"
"I'm taking back my nation. I'm taking back my schools!"
then He and the children stood up without a sound.
"come now my children, let me show you around."
excitement filled the space, some skipped and some ran.
all displaying enthusiasm that only a small child can.
and i heard Him proclaim as He walked out of sight,
"in the midst of this darkness, I AM STILL THE LIGHT."
they remembered nothing of what had happened earlier that day.
"where are we?" asked a little girl, as quiet as a mouse.
"this is heaven." declared a small boy. "we're spending Christmas at God's house."
when what to their wondering eyes did appear,
but Jesus, their savior, the children gathered near.
He looked at them and smiled, and they smiled just the same.
then He opened His arms and He called them by name.
and in that moment was joy, that only heaven can bring
those children all flew into the arms of their King
and as they lingered in the warmth of His embrace,
one small girl turned and looked at Jesus' face.
and as if He could read all the questions she had
He gently whispered to her, "I'll take care of mom and dad."
then He looked down on earth, the world far below
He saw all of the hurt, the sorrow, and woe
then He closed His eyes and He outstretched His hand,
"Let My power and presence re-enter this land!"
"may this country be delivered from the hands of fools"
"I'm taking back my nation. I'm taking back my schools!"
then He and the children stood up without a sound.
"come now my children, let me show you around."
excitement filled the space, some skipped and some ran.
all displaying enthusiasm that only a small child can.
and i heard Him proclaim as He walked out of sight,
"in the midst of this darkness, I AM STILL THE LIGHT."
To all those that lost their lives, God bless the families and friends. 12-14-12
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