How can I make a difference?

I wish that in elementary school all kids could just enjoy it and have fun. I wish that no child had to stress so much about life. I have students who tell me their parents are getting divorced and they are so sad. I have students tell me that their brothers and sisters hit them a lot. I have seen students miss school because they are at home taking care of parents who aren't capable of taking care of themselves. I know students who are homeless. I know so much more than I wished to ever know.  I don't know if this is due to the area I teach in or if this is how elementary schools are these days, but it does not make me very happy. And with knowing all that, there isn't anything I can do outside of school. In school I give them the encouragement they need, a positive attitude, high expectations, and lots of hugs! If I leave my school never to come back again I hope that my 180 students that I worked with know that I loved them and care about them and their education and success in life.

All this came to my mind today as I was sitting with a group in reading and we were reading a story. The students had to then summarize what the story was about. One child wrote a few sentences and then in red pencil at the bottom in very big letters wrote, I want to die. It wasn't hard for me to see it written and we talked for a few minutes about it before I sent her to show her teacher. She ended up leaving the classroom in tears to go talk to the school social worker. I didn't even know schools had those until I started here.

Most of the kids in Kindergarten through second grade that I work with absolutely love me and I receive 500 hugs a day walking down the halls and into classrooms. This was one of those little girls and she did not give me a pleasant look as she was leaving the classroom, but there was no way I was going to leave it alone. Even if it was a joke, there always seems to be truth behind our statements and she is under 8 years old! I don;t mind if there is one less student who doesn't care for me, as a teacher I have to do what is best for them.

Another situation arose last night at school a boy was telling me that he expected to be in jail in 5 years. From how old he is know that would be while he is in high school. I asked him what he was planning on doing and he hoped nothing but he says he can't always control himself. Our elementary school also has gangs...yes I said gangs in the 5th and 6th grade. This student may or may not be involved in one of those. I don't know if it is expected out of these students to be apart of them or if they look forward to joining just as much as they look forward to junior high. I talked to him about school and how much I loved college and love school, trying to help him see the importance and he has absolutely no desire to go to college and who knows he may never finish high school, but I think he will. He teaches me gang signs, and all the cool raps, and how to write your name 'all gang-like'.

THIS IS NOT HOW CHILDREN SHOULD BE ACTING IN ELEMENTARY SCHOOL! Surprisingly though all of this no longer surprises me anymore and I have just accepted the fact that this is how it is here. Next year the school is getting a new vice principal that has worked with gangs before and maybe he will be good for the school in more ways than one. But it is true, you do not teach at this school because it is easy, you do it to try and make a difference! That is how I try and look at everyday when I go to school. How can I make a difference in someone's? Maybe you should try and ask yourselves that question each day too!