A sad day at school

Maybe I need to not teach anymore. I am finishing my second year, and as school comes to a close once again I have had a student face tragedy. Last year one of my students lost their little cousin who was their best friend. It was hard for me to see my student in such pain at losing them. Attending the funeral was the worst part.

I'm not sure yet how to deal with this years tragedy. One of my students lost his mother last night. She was in a car accident on Saturday night. She has been on life support ever since. She didn't pull through.

 Kiddo L wasn't at school on Friday and didn't get to take his Mother's Day present home to her. Maybe if he had, she would have at least seen it even though he wasn't able to give it to her on that special day. Maybe it would have been a lasting memory of the last thing he did was tell her he loved her and give his forever flowers to her. Instead they are sitting in my room today as I cry for him. 

He moved in to my class later in the year and mom was grateful because she always thanked me for making him feel welcome and loved unlike his other school. She would pick him up evey day on the playground and he would run into hers arms and she would scoop him up and ask how school was. He always responded, "we had to do math today." He doesn't really like math. But as we walked out of school he would turn and say goodbye to me at least 100 times before we were finally out of earshot of each other. It always brought a smile to his mom and to me. 

I guess these are really my only memories of her and I didnt know her that long or that well, but I know her son. I know he loves video games and wearing socks with sandals in case his feet get cold. I know who he likes to play with and that he is nice to everyone. I know he takes pride when he does something better than someone else.  I know he has improved his reading tremendously this year. He thrives off of the positive. He could give 100 high fives a day and then some. He is a hugger and I have recieved more hugs from him than most of my students combined. He is very funny and likes to make up jokes. I love this little boy like I love all of my students. 

Now there is nothing I can do for him. 

I don't know if he will be back in my class or who he will end up living with or if he will go into the system. I don't know if he will ever have someone love him like his mother did. For his sake I hope he does. 

These are the things I worry and stress about. I cry for his lost mother,  but I cry for the unknown in his life. I cry because there is nothing I can do but attend the funeral and tell him I care about him. 

As much as I have been debating I think I have to take his Mother's Day flowers to him. Whether he leaves them with his mom or holds on to them to remember, giving him this is going to break my heart all over again. 

Kiddo L, you never know what life is going to give you. In your case it took your mom, but you still have a long life to live. You may not fully understand what is happening at this point but some day you will and you will ask why. No one knows that answer, but if your mom could choose she would still be here with you. She would want you to live your life and be the best person you can be. 

Live. Don't give up. Don't quit. You can do anything you set your mind to. Your first grade teacher believes in you.